We Know Better, But We Still Haven’t Interrupted the Pattern.

Since opening Sanctuary in Exeter, NH, I’ve had the opportunity to work closely with women across all stages of life, young mothers, women in the thick of careers and caregiving, those beginning to come up for air in midlife, and women in their 60s and beyond. What I expected to see were differences between these stages but what I’ve actually seen is a pattern that runs straight through all of them.

The women in their 60s and 70s are often the first to name it clearly. They talk about how much they carried, how long they pushed through, how normal burnout felt at the time. There’s a kind of clarity there now and a recognition that they spent years, sometimes decades, putting themselves somewhere further down the list than they realized.

Women my age, in our early 50s, are just starting to come up for air from that same stretch. Whether we raised children or not, there’s been a constant level of responsibility, decision making, and holding things together that doesn’t fully turn off. And at some point, rest stopped feeling like rest.

Even in the quiet moments, there’s still a part of you scanning - what needs attention, what hasn’t been handled, what you might be missing. The body doesn’t ever fully settle. For some, this becomes clear after having children. For others, it shows up through work, relationships, or simply the accumulation of responsibility over time. But the experience is the same. There’s a baseline level of vigilance that doesn’t fully turn off. And over time, it starts to feel normal and this is what we’re actually working with.

Not just the visible responsibilities, but the way they live in the body, the tension, the constant readiness, the way effort gets held even when there’s nothing immediate to respond to. This is also the focus of She Who Nurtures, a small group women’s wellness event at Sanctuary designed to work with these patterns directly.

And then there are the women in their 30s, the ones I’ve come to know through the studio and at the clinic. This is the part that hit me the hardest. They have language and access to tools we didn’t have. And still, they’re just as exhausted. They’re aware and thoughtful and trying to do it differently, but the underlying pattern - the pressure, the over-responsibility, the constant mental load is still there. What I see, across all of these stages, is how long this pattern can run before it’s really interrupted. Not because women don’t know something is off because they do.

We hear it everywhere now… self-care isn’t selfish, take care of yourself, set boundaries. It’s like white noise at this point. The language is there in a way it never was before and still, most women aren’t actually living differently. Because knowing isn’t the hard part. The hard part is interrupting a pattern that’s been reinforced for years, sometimes decades, of adjusting yourself around everything else, staying in motion, and continuing to carry more than you need to.

So it keeps going. It shows up in different forms at different stages of life, but the underlying pattern is the same and it doesn’t shift just because we understand it. It shifts when we create space to actually see it clearly; how it shows up in the body, in the way we hold tension, in the way we use effort, and begin to work with it directly.

That’s the point where something can change. Not conceptually, but in a way that’s felt and usable.

This is why She Who Nurtures was created. Not as another conversation about self care, but as a structured way to interrupt this pattern, working from the body up, so you can recognize what’s actually happening and begin to shift it in real time.

Because this isn’t really about one evening. It’s about not waiting another 10, 20, or 30 years to finally do something differently. Because our kids are watching, and if we don’t interrupt this pattern, we pass it on, regardless of how much we talk about self care or intention.

This isn’t something that shifts on its own. If you’re ready to work with it directly, you can join us for She Who Nurtures.

Why I Don’t Offer “All Levels” Yoga Classes.

If you’ve been in the yoga world for a while, you’ve probably seen “All Levels” or “Everybody Welcome” in class descriptions. And truly, I do believe yoga is for every body. Every age, every background, every stage of life, every level of experience, and every nervous system state. But believing everyone is welcome is very different from pretending everyone’s needs can be met in a single class. That’s why Sanctuary doesn’t offer “All Levels” classes. Not because I’m exclusive. Not because I’m gatekeeping. But because I’m committed to creating spaces where people can actually feel safe, successful, and supported, not overwhelmed, discouraged, or at risk of getting hurt.

As both a yoga therapist and a licensed PTA trained in outpatient orthopedics, my job is not to impress people with complicated sequences. It’s to protect their bodies and help them feel at home in themselves again. And in my experience, and in the research, true healing requires clarity, pacing, and the right level of challenge. “All Levels” rarely provides that.

Why “All Levels” Often Misses the Mark

When I taught in studios where all-levels classes were the norm, I constantly found myself torn. A person recovering from surgery or managing chronic pain might walk in because their provider suggested yoga. Someone brand new to yoga might arrive, hopeful but unsure. And right behind them, an experienced practitioner would show up ready for a strong, breath-led flow. These three bodies, experiences, and movement histories cannot and should not be asked to do the same practice.

To pretend they can is not inclusive. It’s unsafe. And it can unintentionally make people feel like something is wrong with them when they inevitably struggle. I could modify until I ran out of oxygen, but someone always left overwhelmed, confused, or disappointed and someone else was pushed beyond their capacity. That never sat right with me. And now that I have my own studio, I simply won’t put people in that position.

Why Differentiated Levels Are More Inclusive, Not Less

Clear, intentional class tiers actually support inclusivity. They help people choose a class that aligns with their comfort and capacity, build confidence in a supportive way, feel successful rather than discouraged, and progress gradually without feeling rushed or left behind. This isn’t about hierarchy- it’s about nervous system regulation, motor learning, injury prevention, and psychological safety.

Research shows that people learn movement best when the challenge matches their abilities; overly intense demands can activate stress responses that reduce coordination and increase risk of strain; feeling unsafe or overwhelmed can shut down the brain regions needed for learning; and healing requires a regulated, supportive environment. In other words, a class that’s too challenging doesn’t make you stronger, it makes you tense and frustrated. A class that feels appropriate doesn’t “baby” you, it gives your body and nervous system room to build a strong, healthy foundation.

How Sanctuary Structures Classes Intentionally

This is why Sanctuary offers three clear class levels, each with a purpose. Gentle + Meditation (Level 1) offers a grounding, therapeutic space for those healing, recalibrating, or new to yoga. A place for foundations, mobility, and nervous system regulation. Slow Flow (Level 2) bridges the gap between gentle and more active yoga, offering mindful movement, standing work, and accessible strength building. Flow (Level 3) is a steady, breath-led practice for those wanting mindful heat and stamina without pressure or performance. Each level honors where someone is in their body and their life, and supports them without pushing them into a space that doesn’t feel safe.

Intentional ≠ Exclusive

I want to be clear and honest: Sanctuary is a welcoming space for anyone whose needs can be safely supported within the physical layout of the studio and the scope of the classes I offer. Because the studio is located upstairs, and because group classes have certain movement requirements, there are some mobility or medical situations that truly require more individualized support than a group setting can safely provide.

And I want to say this gently: it would be incredible if yoga were accessible to every single person, in every body, in every circumstance. I wish I could offer that right now. One day, as Sanctuary grows, I hope to expand in ways that allow more people with different needs to experience this kind of healing environment. But every studio has to begin somewhere.

For me, inclusivity means that within the group of people I can responsibly and safely serve, everyone is treated with respect, compassion, and care. It means no one is pushed beyond their capacity. It means people aren’t made to feel “behind,” “not enough,” or like they’re supposed to keep up with something that doesn’t honor their body.

Group yoga simply isn’t one-size-fits-all, and pretending otherwise can be discouraging or unsafe for those who actually need a different level of support. Offering clear class levels is one way I help ensure that each person who walks into Sanctuary and is able to participate safely can practice in a space that feels approachable, supportive, and appropriate for their nervous system, their history, and their goals.

My hope is that everyone who comes through the door feels seen, supported, capable, and empowered to move at their own pace. That is inclusivity. That is accessibility in practice. And that is trauma-informed care.

A Final Thought for Anyone Who’s Struggled in a Yoga Class

If you’ve ever walked into an all-levels class and felt lost, frustrated, or ashamed, please hear this: there is nothing wrong with you. You were simply in the wrong container. Your body isn’t the problem. The structure was. And at Sanctuary, the structure is intentional so you can feel successful, supported, and safe every time you walk through the door.